Monday, September 1, 2008

7 mL from failure...

It's been a very busy last few months in our house. Thank you all for the emails and gentle nudges for news about Mr. B. He's been doing great and Heather and I have been very fortunate that he very rarely complains about anything. We're extremely impressed that he can read a clock already. Every three hours on the dot he lets us know that it's time to eat. And he's great about following his schedule and sleeping through the night! (except when Grandma Binnie is around... hmmmm...) But enough about him, we all know this is a blog about my struggles as a new father right?

My sister once had an idiot boyfriend that assumed that since she was part Hispanic, she should be able to speak Spanish. In his mind there was a lonely thought floating around that it was somehow encoded in her DNA to understand the language. I always thought that it was a stupid idea to assume that your genetic makeup could have anything to do with what you know or learn. That is... until now.

Braeden's bottles are all measured in ounces. 7 am - 5 oz. of formula. 10 am 5 oz. of formula. 1 pm 5 oz. of formula. Etc... - I can go to the sink at any time and put the bottle under the faucet, turn on the water and hit 5 oz. with my eyes closed every time. Want me to stand on my head and do it, because I'm sure I can? Left handed, right handed, behind my back??- Bring it on.

Here's the problem. His bottle is in good ol' American ounces (let's hear it for arbitrarily making a decision on how to measure things huh?) But his bottle warmer requires 7 mL of water. What The...??!! - How did milliliters get into my house? It takes me a good 5 minutes to hit that stupid mark. I fill it t0 4, then re-fill it to 10, pour out a little and I'm back to 3, re-fill and I'm back up to 11... I can't do it. I end up dripping water into that little cup forever trying to hit the mark. The only explanation is that, as an American, I can't use mL's at all. Even though there's a common-sense science that the entire rest of the world understands behind using a Liter based system, my U.S.A. brain just can't comprehend it. But I can beat it. Call it ingenuity, call it improvisation, call it whatever you want. I'm going to put a piece of masking tape over the measurements and mark off 7 mL. But instead of labeling it with a 7, I'm going to label it as .24 oz - and just like that, I've solved the genetic default I'm cursed to live with. That's right, prepare to see one man's mastery over weights and measures.

Rob - 1
The First Years Bottle Warmer Company - 0

-Rob, Heather and Braeden