Let's Go For a Ride!

Falling in the same ridiculous category as "directions for use" on a shampoo bottle, The Surgery Center in Liberty, MO has a policy that no patient can leave the building unless a nurse is pushing them out in a wheel chair. Of course wheel chairs are not built for 11 month old babies so guess who got to climb in and carry the little guy when he woke up from his ear tube surgery? I'm sure you can imagine the looks I got from the other dads when they saw a 94 lb nurse pushing this through the waiting room...



Let's all thank Heather for having the presence of mind to capture the moment for posterity... - By the way, Braeden's surgery went great and he's feeling 1000% better already. Thank you all for the support.

Rob, Heather and Braeden Carlton -

International Blog of Mystery...

I checked the numbers for April and Carltonology has had it's best month ever with 87 visitors! And we've now gone international with visits from real countries like Argentina, Spain, Norway and India as well as fake countries like Canada and France.



Yeah Baby!

Rob -

Yummy!!

Things I've pulled out of Braeden's mouth this week:

1. My cell phone
2. Heather's cell phone
3. A dead ladybug - yes really
4. A weirdly colored piece of string
5. My finger - he bites really really hard
6. Dirt
7. His own sock

Rob, Heather and Braeden Carlton -

Anatomy of a Sugar Crash...

First trip to Cold Stone with The B Man. The following takes place between 4:00 pm and 4:05 pm...


Uh... hey guys, that looks good, what is that?


Nom nom nom...


Very interesting... Much better than mashed carrots and cereal I think.


DEFINITELY BETTER, MAN THIS IS GOOD WOW DADADADADADADADA LET'S RUN AROUND AND CHASE BIRDS OR WE CAN GO OUTSIDE AND YELL REALLY LOUD OR...


HEY HAVE YOU GUYS EVER HAD ICE CREAM BEFORE IT'S AWESOME YOU SHOULD TRY IT IT'S SOOOO GOOD AND I REALLY LIKE IT AND I'M GOING TO TALK NONSTOP FOR A LONG TIME AND MAYBE I'LL HAVE SOME MORE GIVE ME ANOTHER BITE BEFORE I EVEN SWALLOW THIS ONE MAN THIS IS REALLY REALLY GOOD


Whew... that ice cream is good stuff... really like... it...


hey guys... have we been here a... really long time... are you tired..?


time to go...


ice... cream... is... sooo... zzzzzzzzz

Rob Heather and Braeden Carlton -

A Mule of a Different Color

I recently discovered that the mule is the state animal of my home state of Missouri. For those of you who grew up somewhere besides the Mid-West, a mule is what happens when a horse and a donkey love each other very much.

Now in my opinion, a horse is too stupid to be as strong as it is. So I don't understand the logic of intentionally breeding something simply because it's stronger and stupider than a horse. But that's what a mule is. It's a dumber, stronger horse. Here's the kicker though (no pun intended). The reason you have to breed a horse and a donkey is because mules are sterile. Two mules can not create a third mule.

So that's how we decided to represent ourselves to the rest of the nation. Hey everybody, we're the idiot sterile work-horse, Missouri. It's really no wonder that people living on the coasts call us the "Fly-over States".



Rob -

Um...

Any lingering doubt that Heather and I had of Braeden being switched at birth was eliminated this morning when he got his head stuck under the couch. He's definitely my son...

Funny Daddy...

I laugh in uncomfortable situations. I can't help it, it's just what I do. It really pisses Heather off but I can't help it. Just the same way you can't help crying at sad movies, or pulling your hand off of a hot stove, I start giggling when something bad happens. Let me make it clear that I don't enjoy bad things happening to people, it's just a physical response to the emotional discomfort created by tense situations.

Let me give you an example. A few years ago, Heather told me that her dad had been attacked by a Pit Bull and I started laughing (sorry Biff). I don't think it's funny at all and I'm very glad he's ok but I started laughing none-the-less. So imagine my dismay when I discovered that out of all the things I want to pass on to Braeden, this is what he got.

We discovered it a while back and at first, I thought nothing of it. Braeden was playing with the buttons on the DVR and I said "NO, - Braeden, NO". He stopped, turned his head... and laughed. Then he went right back to pushing buttons. Since then it's evolved to him laughing at me in a variety of situations. Here's a list of what's been hilarious over the last week.

1. Don't touch the buttons on the DVR
2. Don't stick that in the outlet
3. Don't put that in your hair
4. Don't put that in your mouth
5. I said don't put that in your mouth
6. Get away from the stairs
7. DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH

I think the thing that scares me most is that he'll laugh when I get attacked by a dog... By the way, it's exhausting laughing at everything.



Rob Heather and Braeden Carlton -