Babies R' Confusing...

There are approximately 1,000 different options when looking at baby bottles. Do I want the curved bottle to reduce intestinal gas, or should we take the bottle that has the plastic throw away liners? Wide opening bottle nipples, or narrow, original, or dentist approved... It never ends. And Heather and I made the mistake of starting the in the bottle aisle for our registration.

Now in my opinion, Babies R' Us is designed by an evil mastermind. Let's take the simplest tasks like picking out a bib for a baby and make people decide between about 250 different ones so that they go absolutely nuts and we can see just how strong the marital bond really is. The point of this rant is, if you happen to come across our baby registry, please note that great care was taken in the beginning to look at each option and make the best decision... in the beginning. However, 2 and a half hours into the process, I was walking half an aisle in front of Heather with that rediculous "scanner gun" yelling out "do we need one of these?" "Probably??" Beep, beep. Chalk another one up to the Babies R' Us Masterminds...

This was our first real taste of exactly what the logistics of taking Braeden anywhere. Can't just pack a couple of diapers and be on our way, noooo sir. Gotta pack the diapers, wipes, bottle, extra bottle, bottle warmer, pacifier, something called butt paste (another win for the masterminds), another bottle, more diapers... Are we going to be somewhere for any length of time? If so, better bring the "pack'n'play", stroller, formula, extra jumpers, and finally more diapers. Got it all, let's go... Half way down the street we will realize we are the most prepared parents on earth and we are ready for anything... if only we hadn't forgotten our son in his crib back at the house... I can see it now.

To everyone that's asked... sorry it took over two weeks to get the new blog up. We didn't realize so many people were reading it. So if you're reading this, please take a minute and leave a comment at the bottom so we know who's visiting. I've got some new pictures of Team Heather and we're making good progress on the nursery. I'll get them posted up soon. There's a camera cable on the way to Missouri as we speak. Talk to everyone soon.

Rob, Heather and Braeden Carlton

That Guy...

I have one goal for my "stint" as a father. I have to keep my son from becoming "That Guy". You all know who I'm talking about. You've probably come across him in the last week. "That Guy" is the one on the bus that doesn't give his seat to an old lady. He's the guy who doesn't know when to stop ordering drinks at the ball game. He is that man standing on the median selling candy bars last weekend when it was 25 degrees outside... (wearing shorts). "That Guy" is the person that makes you look around at other people and think "did anyone else see that?" "Did anyone else hear that guy??"

My job is to keep Braeden from drawing those astonished looks from people. It is, however, much more of a delicate balancing act than it appears to be at first glance. How do I explain to him the intricacies of relationships that makes it ok for me to laugh hysterically at my friend Mike when he falls through a manhole cover at a park, but unthinkable to giggle if it happens to an old lady on main street? For that matter, how do I even know the difference for myself? How do I teach him to appreciate Don Henley and fear Elton John? How do I help him choose dogs over cats? Waffles over pancakes, Mac's over PC's, Good over evil... I guess I already said Dogs over Cats. And finally, it's ok to laugh at his own gas but never never at his mothers... I've already learned that one for him.

On another note, I've defeated the digital camera and here are a couple of belly the pics you've all been waiting for! Blue shirt is 12 weeks (November 9th) and red shirt is 16 weeks (December 7th). More pictures to follow...

- Rob, Heather and Braeden Carlton

B stands for...

Today was the big day when we found out who was joining the family. We met the baby. We met Braeden! Team Heather is coed, and the men will one day rule the house... I'm biding my time until baseball overrules "The Housewives of Orange County." I really hate those women.

If you don't know, this is actually the third round of Ultrasounds we've had. We had two separate "viewings" of the baby early on at 5 and 6 weeks just to make sure everything was ok. At that point we got to see our spot (week 5) and our beating sack of heart (week 6). I can't speak for Heather but I was totally un-prepared for the amount of detail that we saw in this ultrasound. By the way, if you're wondering he has my eyes, and Heather's nose.

When we got into the room for the procedure, the nurse went through the process with us. "We are going to view the heart, count the chambers, measure the circumference of this, check the length of that, count the number of those etc. etc. etc. Then she was ready to go. "Excuse me," we said, "we'll be able to see if we're having a boy or a girl, right?" At this point I would like to say that the nurse was not as optimistic as I would have liked. "Well, I can't guarantee anything, it all depends on your child and how cooperative he or she is." So she squirted the goo (that's scientific language for those of you who don't know) and pulled out the tummy wand and we we were off.

As the first picture came into focus on the tv screen Heather and I looked at each other. It couldn't have been clearer if Braeden had taken out a full page ad in the Kansas City Star. "HEY IDIOTS... I'M A BOY, SO CUT IT OUT WITH THE HE OR SHE CRAP!"

So I'm going to have a son. I've started practicing my dad phrases. "That's my Boy" "Look what my son made!" "Stop kicking the cat!" ... Actually, I may hold off on that one.

-Rob, Heather and Braeden Carlton